.....so there I was.....

".....so there I was...." harks back to the days of WWII fighter pilots.  Pictures made famous depicting youthful 20 somethings using hand gestures to reinact there battles in the skies over Germany and how they bested their foe, on that day, at that moment.  My battle begins with my trip to LAX.  It started like all my other trips this month...EARLY.  And when I say early, I mean early.  3:15am wake up, early!  It was a quick trip to the airport.  I finally made time for a coffee, then strapped in for what was to be a 5:35 min. flight to LAX.  We pushed back on time and decided to start both engines for our taxi to the runway.  (under most conditions we only start 1 engine to save gas).  We get number 2 started (right engine) and then start number 1 (the left).  The left engine decided not to start.  It started spooling up normally, but when we introduced the fuel, there was no "light off".  We aborted the start and referenced our checklist. We tackled our "non-normal engine start checklist" and after a quick talk with maintenance we opted for another try.  This time it started normally and off we went.  The flight out was smooth and relatively quick considering the position and strength of the jetstream.   We would be tested one more time this trip.  At the end.  I flew the leg from LAX-EWR.  It was quick and smooth considering the winter storm stretching from Denver to Cleveland.  We were well above the weather at 39,000 feet, and although it was raining in Newark there was no snow in the immediate forecast.  In our decent we received a message  from dispatch indicating a wide-spread area of potentially severe turbulence below 6000' .  We informed  the flight attendants and asked them to be seated for the rest of the flight.  I've seen these reports before but nothing close to severe turbulence was ever encountered.  "So there I was......level at 6000' being vectored for our approach to runway 4 right at Newark.  ATC said the ride down to 2000' would be a little rough.  That's when  anything that wasn't secured in the cockpit started to float.  Not like being in outer space floating, but like being in a violently shaking snowglobe floating.  The auto-pilot was on and in a matter of seconds the airplane abruptly started to pitch and roll around all three axis.  The auto-pilot kicked off and it was my battle to settle with mother nature.  You must ensure smooth control inputs while trying to correct for deviations related to turbulence so you don't over-stress the aircraft.  I could not maintain our altitude and held the airplane at a constant pitch (up/down) attitude while accepting the deviations.  We had altitude deviations in excess of +/- 400 feet and airspeed fluctuations  +/- 35 knots.  This would be tolerable, although not enjoyable, if not for the extreme shaking and shuttering that came along with the fluctuations.  We had such bad eyeball bounce (inability to focus on the instruments due to the shaking) that it took both of us to coordinate altitude and heading inputs. Everything was deliberate and coordinated with regard to aircraft control.  The turbulence mellowed as we turned  toward the airport and the rest of the trip down the final approach was bumping but doable.  The landing was firm, but rewarding.  I'm proud to not have many instances that start with "so there I was....." but I  have this one with my battle over NJ with mother nature.